[Etc.] Jones Soda - Monster Mojito

Bringing back a tradition begun on my old blog, I'm planning to throw a few drink reviews up on RxM! Mostly because they are easier to write than toy articles.



So here we have the 2008 Jones Soda Halloween offering, Monster Mojito. Yes, you read that correctly, 2008. In a misguided attempt at historical preservation, I saved one of each Halloween soda that I bought last year. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Jones would re-release the same flavors this year (seasonal flavors were usually unique to the year of production) in the exact same packaging. Lazy bums! While this does steal some of the historic thunder of my review, it does increase its relevance to the percentage of the public that does not collect novelty drinks.

I use a categorical evaluation system, which compares beverages based on their performance in 5 areas: (1) packaging, (2) initial smell ("First Whiff"), (3) appearance, (4) initial taste ("First Sip"), and (5) drinkability ("Finishing the Glass"). In other words, if you can't chug down the entire putrid glass, it loses points. Or maybe gains points, depending on my mood.

PACKAGING

Usual Jones schtick. Funny photo in b/w. I guess they use semi-Halloweenish photos.

FIRST WHIFF

Doesn't really have much of a smell.

APPEARANCE

Milky white liquid. It looks kind of tasty.

FIRST SIP

It tastes like a lightly carbonated mojito. So I assume, because I don't actually drink mojitos. If I were to imagine an alcoholic drink with mint leaves crushed in it, this is how it would taste in my imagination. The carbonation seems sort of flat- probably because it is over a year old. I am underwhelmed.

FINISHING THE GLASS

Easily done, as the flavoring is very light. It really tastes like nothing more than Sprite with a hint of mint. I think my tap water is more monstrous than this soda- more minerals at any rate.

OVERALL

The scariest thing about Monster Mojito is the sense that you are sampling the drink of hipsters everywhere. While it is a legitimately limited flavor (only sold in the Halloween assortment), mojito does not have a strong Halloween association for me and the soda flavor itself is pretty weak. I would not buy this one again.

Show me you care, Jones Soda, and appease my lust for revolting drink flavors this holiday season. WIN BACK MY LOVE.